55 Funny Broccoli Jokes and Puns To Make You Brocco-lol-i
Broccoli jokes and humorous puns are the ideal complement to a dinner conversation. They are intelligent, family-friendly, and also quite ridiculous! Consider the items on this list and select a few that strike your fancy. We are certain that you will be as enthralled with sharing these as we have been.
Broccoli Jokes One-Liner
“Don’t worry about the smell, it’s just the broccoli.”
“I’m in love with the stems, they are so big and juicy.”
“I’m not a fan of broccoli but I’ll eat it if it’s smothered in cheese.”
“I can’t resist a big head of broccoli.”
“Do you want a stem? Or do you prefer the head?”
“I’ve never known anyone who didn’t like a good floret.”
“I’m going to steam this broccoli until it’s hot and moist.”
“I like a little broccoli with my dressing.”
I prefer my broccoli in the nude, no cheese sauce for me.
“Whether steamed, roasted or sautéed, it’s always tender and delicious.”
“I just had a threesome with broccoli and cheese sauce.”
“I bet you’ve never seen a broccoli stalk as thick as this one.”
“I always eat my greens, especially the ones that come in florets.”
Broccoli might be dull to some, but it’s certainly a head above the rest.
The broccoli was feeling under the weather, so it got some floretane.
How does broccoli greet its friends? With a big ol’ head of steam!
What’s a broccoli’s favorite chord? FLORETSEVENTH.
Eating broccoli is like playing hide and seek with your immune system.
Once a broccoli gets going, it’s almost impossible to get it to stem!
When it comes to eating broccoli, I only use Florence cutlery.
What did the broccoli say when it saw the kale? “Looks like we’re in different branches of the same family!”
I tried to join the Vegetables Club, but my broccoli just wasn’t cutting it.
When served quickly, broccoli will usually say, “Thanks for making this snappy. I don’t have oliloli time.”
Don’t ask broccoli for fashion advice. It’s always referring to things as “stem-stylish”.
Broccoli would make a fantastic dancer – it always has a stunning head of florets.
I’d like to buy some chocolates for my friend who loves broccoli… any suggestions for FLORET bouquets?
Broccoli’s a great listener. You can really cauliflow on the quality of its conversations.
Eating broccoli once a week is good for your joints… it’s brock-u-mulative!
When my broccoli factory had financial troubles, it was saved by Tomate Broccoli.
I gave my friend broccoli for their birthday… it reigned all day!
When it comes to culinary prestige, broccoli is up there with the PomegraNobel prize.
Broccoli Jokes Questions
Why was the broccoli such a great hunter? It always managed to “cauliflower” its prey.
Why did the broccoli cross the road? To get to the greener broccoli on the other side.
How does broccoli like to start its day? With a stalk and its favorite smoothie.
Why did the broccoli bring a paper towel to the party? In case it had to “lettuce” clean up.
Why did the broccoli take a selfie? So it could “stalk” itself later.
What do you call a veggie that insults other veggies? A Broc-kiki.
Why didn’t the broccoli go to the prom? It was too self-conscious about its florets.
Why did the Broccoli get a college degree? Because it wanted to become a head of the Harvard.
Why don’t the other vegetables like to play games with broccoli? Because it always ends up winning by a stalk.
Why did the chef have trouble cutting the broccoli? Because the florets kept falling off in his hands.
Did you hear about the broccoli who won the lottery? He’s been living “stalk” rich ever since.
What did the broccoli say when it got a compliment? I’m having a head over heels day!
Why did the broccoli get an award? Because it was out-STAND-ing in its field!
How does a broccoli answer the phone? Yellow, broccoli speaking!
What do you call a nervous broccoli? A little steamed.
What did the broccoli say when it started to rain? Oh snap! My head is getting wet!
How does broccoli greet loved ones at the airport? With stalks and hugs.
Why was the broccoli refusing to eat dessert? Because it was already stuffed!
What do you get when you cross broccoli with a vampire? Fang-tastic greens!
What do you call a tree that grows broccoli? A broccoli-forest!
Why did the broccoli break up with the cauliflower? It just didn’t want to be part of that mixed bag anymore.
What did the broccoli say when asked if it was sure it wanted to be steamed? It was time to face the pot.
Why did the broccoli hide under the bed? To stalk its prey!
How did the broccoli feel when it finally got picked from the garden? Relieved – it was feeling really under-green!
