Sign In

Best 70 Ham Puns and Jokes That Are Very Hilacious

Best 70 Ham Puns and Jokes That Are Very Hilacious

Reading Time: 3 minutes
Article Rating
3.9/5

In search of some humorous quips to brighten your day? There is no need to look further! A compilation of more than 70 unparalleled ham puns has been assembled, certain to induce fits of hilarity. Whether one possesses a keen interest in ham or is merely seeking amusement, these quips are certain to elicit a smile. Everything from “ham-burglar” to “ham it up” is covered in this archive. Therefore, take a seat, unwind, and allow the amusement to flow with these ridiculous quips. These puns will certainly make others laugh, whether you share them on social media, in the workplace, or with your peers.

Funny Ham Puns One-Liner

Don’t go bacon my heart.

You can’t do that! You’re bacon all the rules!

Your’re bacon me crazy!

I’m bacon the road again.

Sass-age – Sassy sausages.

If at first you don’t succeed, fry and fry again.

I got some ham me downs if you want em’.

Let’s all live in ham-ony.

I mean you no ham.

Dang, that’s one ham-some piggy.

I have no hambition to be anything else.

That’s really ham-bitious.

I ham what I ham!

I wanna hold your ham.

Come out with your hams up!

Ham-n (damn) bro, you look cool.

The builder piggy used a ham-mer to build his house.

Most pigs come from Ham-burg.

Hamburgler – A ham and bacon thief.

Hamstring – What pigs use to tie things together.

Hamlet – Pigs in a Shakespeare play.

Hamazon – The largest pig in the Brazilian Rainforest.

Hamble – Not a proud pig.

Instaham – Piggy social media.

Why did the pig go to the casino? To play ham-ble!

I tried to make a ham sandwich, but couldn’t find the bread. It was a missed steak.

What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

Why did the ham go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little ham-strung.

How do you make a pig smile? Put it on a ham-ock.

Why did the pig join a band? It wanted to play the ham-bone.

What do you call a ham that goes to law school? An attorney-ham.

Where do pigs go when they get a haircut? The hogwash.

Did you hear about the pig that opened a detective agency? He was a real ham sleuth.

How do you cure a headache caused by eating too much ham? Take some oink-ment.

Why was the ham cold at the picnic? Because it left its coat in the porking lot.

How do you describe a greedy pig? Ham-bitious.

Why did the ham go to Hollywood? To become a ham-bassador.

Why did the ham blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.

Did you hear about the pig who opened a diner? It’s the ham-burglar’s worst nightmare.

Why did the pig become an actor? He had a natural ham-acting ability.

I have a fear of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

What did the little pig say after a long day? I’m bacon.

Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything.

The best way to watch a fly fishing tournament is live stream.

Did you hear about the pig that opened a karate dojo? He’s a ham-belt.

My ex-girlfriend still misses me. But her aim is getting better!

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? People think it’s R, but it’s actually the C.

I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days so far.

Why did the butcher quit his job? He got a raw deal.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.

I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.

What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork chop.

What happens to a pig that overeats? It becomes ham-gry.

What do you get when you cross a pig with a Christmas tree? A ham-in-tree.

What do you call a pig that writes poetry? A ham-bard.

What did the pig say on a hot summer day? I’m bacon in the sun!

How do you make a ham sandwich? Just start with a pork butt.

What did the mama pig say to the piglet who wanted to run away? Ham over here!

What do you call a pig who’s doing a handstand? Ham stand!

What did the pig say to win the spelling bee? H-A-M, ham!

Why do pigs make terrible drivers? They always hog the road!

Why did the pig’s business fail? They were bringing home the bacon, but they never cooked it!

What do pigs use to sow their fields? Ham-hands!

Why do pigs make bad detectives? They always squeal on their partners.

What’s the difference between a pig and a beetle? A pig is ham-some; a beetle is bugly!

What did the greedy pig say? Ham, ham, ham, ham, ham…

Why does a pig’s stomach make so many sounds? Because it’s full of ham-onious bellowing.

Why did the pig turn down the job offer? The salary was too low, only ham-crumbs.

Why did the ham go to the gym? To work on its ham-strings.

Why did the pig join the soccer team? It wanted to be a ham-striker.

What do you get when you cross a ham with a bird? A ham-bone.