Top 35 Hemorrhoid Jokes That Are Very Funny

In case you have been searching for “Best Hemorrhoid Jokes and Puns” or Hemorrhoid Jokess One Liner, then you are at the right place.

Here are 35 hilarious jokes and puns about hemorrhoids that will make you guffaw out loud. Hemorrhoidal jokes that are clean and appropriate for children and peers to read.

You have arrived at the proper location if you are in search of a pleasant humor. These quips about hemorrhoids will have you laughing uncontrollably in no time.

Hemorrhoid Jokes for Instagram And Hemorrhoid Puns Captions

My friend was making fun of me for having hemorrhoids… I’m really butthurt about it.

What did the Iphone5 with hemorrhoids say to the IphoneX?

What did the poet with hemorrhoids say? I’m stuffin the puffin back into my muffin.

what type of beer does a hemorrhoid enjoy? pilesner

Why are they called hemorrhoids? Because asteroids was already taken.

I prefer “badass” to “hemorrhoids” when I describe my condition

On Earth we get hemorrhoids… In space they get assteroids.

Why are they called hemorrhoids? Shouldn’t they be called “asteroids”?

7/10 people suffer from hemorrhoids The other 3 enjoy them

What do you get from a stripper with hemorrhoids? A prolapsed dance.

What do you call a nice guy with hemorrhoids? A stand up guy

The tenderest love is between two homosexual men with hemorrhoids.

How do you turn a brown crayon into a red marker? [oc] Hemorrhoids.

There aren’t many good ways to get rid of a hemorrhoid..

You have hemorrhoids. -Great, now I’m badass!

Why do more women suffer from hemorrhoids than men? Because when God created man, he created the perfect asshole.

What do you call a hemorrhoid in the middle of your asshole? A log splitter.

What’s it called when you scream in tearful anger from the pain of your hemorrhoid? Roid Rage.

I’ve just got my latest batch of hemorrhoids medication but I had to call the doctor when I got a bad reaction. He asked ‘where did you apply it?… On the bus I said.

What’s it called when you get a hemorrhoid in space? An assteroid.

What do you call a Dino with hemorrhoids? A Tyrano-Sore-Ass Rex!

My proctologist didn’t know what a hemorrhoid was. What a dumb ass doctor!

Last week I got eczema, diarrhea, and hemorrhoids. It was the first time I ever won a game of Scrabble.

What do you call a dinosaur that uses hemorrhoid cream ? Mega sore arse

What do BMWs and hemorrhoids have in common? Sooner or later every asshole has one.

Why are they called Hemorrhoids? Because Asteroids was already taken

What were the two hemorrhoids doing by the back door? Just hangin’ out.

What did the poet with hemorrhoids say? I’m stuffin the puffin back into my muffin.

My buddy was in a bad mood all day because of his hemorrhoids. No reason to get all butthurt about it

A doctor is calling in patients from the waiting room -due to new privacy regulations we aren’t allowed to call in patients by their name, so could the lady with hemorrhoids please follow me?

Shortage of Heinz ketchup packets… … now secretly caused by usage for hemorrhoids. The company will now market “A” Heinz for restaurants and “B” Heinz for hemorrhoids.

What’s the difference between an asteroid and a hemorrhoid? Asteroids come from the asteroid belt between Jupiter and Mars. Hemorrhoids come from somewhere near Uranus.

I told a joke about hemorrhoids in a hospital the other day. It didn’t sit well with some of the patients.

It wasn’t too bad when I accidentally brushed my teeth with Preparation H, but.. Icey Hot on a hemorrhoid is not a good way to start the morning off.

What’s it called when a man with hemorrhoids farts? Pearl Harbor