Top 50 Jokes About Grandpas You Should Not Miss!
Are you prepared to guffaw uncontrollably? Grandpa jokes for children possess an enduring allure that can amuse both children and adults. These humorous and lighthearted jests frequently parody the persona of a grandfather who is sagacious yet absurdly ignorant. You are welcome to share the joke whenever you have leisure time, including when the family is gathered to unwind at the end of the day. Some of the most amusing stories that a family can enjoy with good natured laughter are those told by grandfathers. Therefore, prepare to have a good time as we delve into a compilation of the funniest grandfather jokes that are certain to make you grin.
Funny Grandpa Jokes and Puns One-Liner
My grandfather, my mom, and my siblings all have diarrhea. Runs in the family.
I tried to get my grandpa to go to yoga class yesterday. It was a bit of a stretch.
My grandpa told me when he was small the alphabet only had 25 letters. Nobody knew Y.
My grandpa’s so cheap, when he dies, he’ll probably walk towards the light and turn it off.
My grandpa would always says, “When one door closes, another opens.” He was a good man, but a lousy cabinet maker.
My grandpa taught me the value of top quality speakers. It was sound advice.
My grandfather is 85 and he still doesn’t need glasses. He drinks straight from the bottle.
My grandpa returned from the war with one leg. We still don’t know to who that leg belonged to.
My grandpa always used to say to me, “Fight fire with fire.” It’s no wonder he got sacked from the fire service.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass. But he has been gone for a lawn time.
Why did grandpa like to wear glasses while collecting take out for dinner? He goes to pick up the dinner with a contact-less drive-through.
How did the grandma stop my grandpa’s habit of biting his nails after 40 long years? She hid his glass of teeth.
Why did the grandchild call grandpa a hipster? Because grandma told him, hipsters buy clothes from thrift shops, wear glasses that are thick, and look different.
Why do you think grandpa says that he was made upside down? Because his feet smell and his nose is always running.
What advice did grandpa pig have for his kids? Don’t take anything for grunted.
What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? Look Grandpa, no hands.
Why does grandma call grandpa spiderman? Because he finds it hard to get out of the bath.
What happened when grandpa insisted to everyone that the Titanic would sink? He got kicked out of the theatre.
What does grandpa do when you tell him to change his hearing aid? He doesn’t listen.
What do stars and grandpa’s teeth have in common? They only come out at night.
What do people call grandfather clocks? Old-timers.
What does a bagel call its grandfather? Poppy.
Why didn’t grandpa enjoy her new stairlift? It was driving him up the wall.
Why did grandpa love grandma so much that he called her love, honey, darling even after 60 years of marriage? Because grandpa had forgotten grandma’s name.
Why did Grandpa lose his hat? Hmm, that’s a real head scratcher.
What did grandpa say to the old fountain? You aged well.
What did grandpa name the Italian restaurant he started in grandma’s memory? Pasta Way.
Why did dad put wheels on grandpa’s rocking chair? Because grandpa wanted to Rock-n-Roll.
What did the mother turkey say to her mischievous son? If your grandpa saw you now, he would roll over in his gravy.
What do people call jokes when they get old? A grandpa joke.
Why did grandpa tell the ghosts about his shirt size? Because he was a medium.
I asked my dad what it’s like having the best son in the world. He replied “I don’t know, you’ll have to ask Grandpa.”
What’s tall, wooden and complains about all of today’s digital gadgets? A grandfather clock.
Even though it’s been 20 years since my grandfather choked to death on a piece of sushi. It’s still pretty raw.
My late grandpa used to hate looking in the mirror. Humble man, terrible driver.
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type. At least he told us to be positive.
My grandfather’s last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond. That’s a lot of pressure.
My grandfather is always saying that in the old days people could leave their back doors open. Which is probably why his submarine sank.
My grandad asked me how to print on his computer. I told him it’s Ctrl-P. He said he hasn’t been able to do that for ages.
Why did grandpa spend only one hour with the grandchildren? Because one hour with them and he felt like a young fellow, more than that he said he feels drastically old.
What does grandpa say when a waiter asks about the food at the restaurant? He points at our finished plates and confirms, “They almost didn’t like it.”
What does grandpa do when you tell him to change his hearing aid? He doesn’t listen.
What did grandma say to grandpa, when he claimed that he let out a silent fart in the church? She said, “Honey, you need to replace the batteries of your hearing aid”.
Who is the one that chimes every one hour? A grandfather, who’s like the clock.
What did the tall grandpa say to the little boy? You will have to do your own growing boy, my height won’t help you with that.
Why was grandpa counting pennies? Because he was the only one with time and money in his hand.
Why do you think grandpa says that his wife makes cookies the fastest? Because she just takes nana-seconds to bake them.
What would a lawnmower grandfather’s eulogy be like? ‘Now he’s lawn-gone’.
How are stars and fake teeth alike according to my grandfather? My grandfather said, “These two come out only during the night.”
Why did grandpa like an ‘All-you-can-eat’ restaurant more than grandma’s cooking? Because he could decide when he was full at the restaurant.
