Lack of Emotional Permanence: Know Its Symptoms and Helpful Tips to Cope With it

What is Emotional Permanence?

Emotional Permanence is the understanding that emotions continue to exist when they cannot be observed.

It is conceptually comparable to the phrase “object permanence,” which refers to the stage of development in which we recognize that items exist even when we cannot see them. (For instance, even if a book is kept beneath the table, we know it is still present.)

However, there are a variety of reasons why a person could lack Emotional Permanence, thereby jeopardizing their relationships.

People who lack Emotional Permanence frequently had unstable relationships in the past, which can lead to insecurity and a fear of abandonment. Those who struggle with Emotional Permanence are likely to have an anxious attachment style.

Effects of  Lack of  Emotional Permanence 

• A lack of emotional permanence might expose you to the risk of feeling unwanted for a significant portion of your life, and it can also serve as a breeding ground for problems in romantic relationships.

• A lack of emotional permanence might expose you to the possibility of feeling unwanted for a significant portion of the time.

• A lack of emotional permanence can also serve as a breeding ground for problems in romantic relationships.

Lack of Emotional Permanence in Relationships

Lack of Emotional permanence has a profound effect on relationships.

• People with a lack of emotional permanence may find it difficult to recollect their loved one’s affection when they are not present or when they are not able to provide reassurance.

• During an argument, for instance, it is difficult for a person who lacks emotional permanence to reconcile the reality that their loved one can simultaneously be angry with them and love them.

• Even with clear evidence of a loved one’s affection, a person with a lack of emotional permanence will find it difficult to reproduce, review, or reflect on the emotions underlying their loved one’s acts.

It’s not that the person who lacks emotional permanency doesn’t feel their loved one loves them; rather, they find it difficult to hold onto the reassurance of their love in their absence or in the presence of a trigger that causes them to fear they don’t love them (such as during an argument).

3 Signs that you may lack Emotional Permanence

Your Continual desire for “Attention Seeking”

Attention-seeking is neither a negative nor pathological trait. With a lack of emotional permanence, however, not having it consistently might cause individuals to feel needlessly insecure and unwanted. As a result, they may “ask about their partner’s feelings to make sure they aren’t angry or resentful and still love them.”

During BAD times, you cannot recall ever feeling loved

When your partner isn’t affectionate, you don’t just feel unloved at that moment; you can’t recall ever feeling loved. Internally, it can be difficult to recall a feeling other than the current one.  For example, if anxiety is the predominant feeling, there is an inability to recollect a time when joy was present. It is as though the concept of another emotion is present, but conviction in its actual existence is absent.

You view conflict as disastrous

Another indicator is strongly negative feelings and an inability to deal with situations. For them, even an occasional fight, disagreement, or conflict may look like the end of a relationship.

The good news is that it is possible to develop your feeling of emotional permanence to improve both your sense of self and your relationships. Here are some suggestions for bolstering your sense of Emotional Permanence

4 Steps to Overcome Lack of Emotional Permanence

Discuss the issue with your partner

Communicating with your companion aids them to comprehend what you are experiencing and what you require. The most critical factor is open communication, which enables fact-checking and the reinforcement of needs being addressed.

Attend counseling or a support group

Therapy (on your own or with a partner) can be your best bet when it comes to building greater emotional stability.  Partners and therapists can work through feelings of abandonment and fear, strengthen relationships, and develop a sense of trust through individual or group therapy sessions

Adjust your point of view

Remember that two things can be true at the same time; for instance, your partner can be angry with you and still love you. Your loved ones are complicated beings that may experience various emotions. Furthermore, their emotions are not always centered on you.

One should remind yourself of important realities in times of doubt: distance between you and your partner does not indicate abandonment, and just because you cannot feel love does not imply it does not exist.

Record Your feelings

A mood Journal enables you to record your emotions. A mood journal can help you identify that the negative emotions you are currently experiencing (sadness, frustration, hopelessness, fear, anxiety, etc.) are not the only ones you have ever experienced.