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Best 60 Onion Puns That Will Make You Crazy Cry

Best 60 Onion Puns That Will Make You Crazy Cry

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Are you prepared to augment your sense of amusement with some tears, or perhaps some spice? You need not look any further; we have more than two hundred onion puns that will either make you laugh until you weep or cry until you laugh. These puns, which range from simple one-liners such as “I’m peeling good” to more complex wordplays like “This onion is really cutting me up” (which is literally making me cry), will make you grin and shed a tear. Furthermore, rest assured that we will not pass judgment if you manage to release a few tears while perusing these quips that will provoke strong emotions. Therefore, take a seat, obtain a tissue (or an onion), and delight in the hilarious world of onions!

Onion Puns and Jokes One-Liner

Sweet chive of mine.

Good chives only.

Chive loved you for a long time.

Congratulations on your recent a-chive-ment.

I love you shal-lot.

I love you five scallion times over.

There’s a leek in the boat.

I really leek you.

Taking a leek.

I’m crying tears of joy!

Onion burps are tear gas.

I’m tearing up just hearing your jokes.

These are some tear-able puns.

No onion, no cry.

For crying out loud!

Don’t be such a cry baby.

Cry me a river.

Chive been thinking…

Chive talkin’

It rings a bell.

Ring me up sometime.

Let herb be.

I herb you like puns.

I herb it on the grape vine

That’s soup-herb!

Herb your enthusiasm.

I met herb before.

Peaceful herb-itat.

“You must be a sweet onion because I can’t stop crying when I think about you.”

“Peeling good after eating some onion rings, if you know what I mean.”

“You know what they say, an onion a day keeps the vampires away.”

The onion was so hot, it had me sweating like a sinner in church.

“I like my onions like I like my jokes, with many layers.”

“Not to brag, but I’m pretty a-peeling, just like an onion.”

“That onion really knocked my socks off – and I wasn’t even wearing any!”

My favorite way to eat onions is with a kiss from my lover.

“I heard onions are great for your heart, but I think they’re stealing mine.”

I don’t always eat onions, but when I do, I make sure it’s a hot one.

An onion is like an ogre, they both have layers and can make you cry.

“I heard onions can help cure a cold, but I prefer to just suffer in bed all day.”

Why do onions make you cry? Because they don’t have any tear-ducts!

I asked my onion if it was crying, but it said “No – I’m just sweating from my eyes!”

What do you call an onion that’s in charge? The root of all evil!

Why did the onion go on a blind date? It wanted to see if there was a spark between them.

Why do onions make the best artists? They have great layers!

Did you hear about the onion that joined a rock band? It was the lead vocalist!

Why do onions make terrible dogs? They never fetch!

What do you call it when an onion gives you a hug? Embrace-a-bulb!

Why won’t onions play board games? They always end up crying over spilled milk!

What do you call an onion that’s a fan of horror movies? A screamish!

I try not to cry when I chop onions, but it’s just too eye-ronic to resist.

Why did the onion get a job in PR? It had great peelings!

How do you make an onion laugh? You tickle its bulb!

What happens when you mix an onion with a computer? You get a vegetable with a lot of chips!

I was feeling onion-y today, so I decided to make French Onion soup.

What do you call an onion that goes to the gym? A muscle spud!

Why was the onion afraid of its own reflection? Because it was a real shallot of itself!

Why did the onion break up with the garlic? The relationship had too many layers.

What do you call an onion that’s a neat freak? Tidy onion!